Monday, March 21, 2011

Dude's View - My Wife's Pregnant & You're an Idiot

Howdy Dude’s View Nation. In the words of Jay Z, “your boy is back”. That’s right, the sabbatical is over and yes, I had to Google sabbatical to make sure I used it properly. So for those of you who don’t know, I have big news, I’m going to be a Daddy. I have looked forward to this for a long time and I’m super excited. My wife hit the 20 week mark on Tuesday and we felt the baby kick for the first time this week. Things have been great. Actually things have been better than great. We are having a baby boy and he is due on August 2. During the 20 week sonogram, he was playing with his peepee and like a true dad, I couldn’t be prouder.

During the first 20 weeks, I have come to realize how much stupid sh*t gets said from family and friends, but even worse than that is the complete strangers that also want to get in on the action. I have come up with a list of the most ridiculous things that have happened in the first 20 weeks.

  1. A complete stranger touching my wife’s belly without conversation. I’m sorry, should I just come over to you and grab your woman or man parts? Pregnant or not, that’s just weird.
  2. A name suggestion of Giuseppe. Hello moron, I’m Jewish and also not from the old country, but yea totally, we’ll keep it on the short list.
  3. A person telling us, “Girls are so much better, but you’ll be ok.” I’m sorry, when was it a consolation prize to have a boy? Instead of having to worry about every penis in the world, I only need to worry about one. So sI definitely think we'll "be ok".
  4. The “are you sure she’s pregnant?” Yes. The $200 worth of at home tests, the blood tests and the sonograms all show a baby, but you thinking that my wife’s belly is too small could definitely mean she’s not pregnant.
  5. The “oh, you’ll save so much money because there’s no cute stuff for boys.” Wrong. I have already started stock piling some great clothing and accessories - after all it is our business! Here’s a sneak peak

  1. “Are you having twins?” Thanks jackass, my wife is already self-conscious about looking and feeling different and now you just told her that she looks like a moose.
  2. Enjoy now because your life is over.” Spoken like a true idiot. Need I say more?

What ridiculous things have you heard someone say or do to a pregnant woman? Send in some goodies and we’ll post ‘em.


  1. Love it!! But does this mean brandon isn't your number one playmate in ortley anymore?! He will be so upset!!! :)

  2. I got number 6 all the time...and though it WAS twins it sure didn't help that it was that obvious!
    But my favorite had to be "You must be carrying a girl...they say it completely changes your face because she takes your beauty". Um, what??